Happy Birthday, Dear Bloggy! (Part Two)

This past Sunday was the one year blogoversary of Classical Quest! I've enjoyed looking back over some highlights of my journey thus far. In my previous post I reminisced about events from January to July 2012. In this post you'll find highlights from August 2012. Initially I intended to post a two part series, but it has now turned into three! Part Three will go up on Friday. A birth-week is really more appropriate anyway, since that's the way my kids like to celebrate!

Why do I bother baking cupcakes for my kids?
They would be happy with a bowl of icing and a jar of sprinkles!

August

Things were starting to go swimmingly. I finished a round of antibiotics after contracting a staph infection and I felt great. I began jogging again. I had learned quite a bit through trial and error about making the most of my days in order to fit my quest into my life. I was going to bed earlier and waking up at 5AM to read.

Kid's water shoes get frequent use around our place.

I did not post much here on Classical Quest during August. Instead I focused on opening the doors of my home to my community for the first time since my C-section. I had finally overcome what Fly Lady calls CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome)!

My living room -- with extra chairs for company. I do most of my reading in the chair with the quilt on the back. 

praise and worship with friends

precious guests

I recall one pleasant day in early August when I was out hiking in the sunshine with all my children and I suddenly felt so grateful my heart literally hurt. (Does that sound crazy? Have you ever felt that way?) It occurred to me that it was quite possibly the happiest moment of my life.

What happened next was not an earth-shattering tragedy, but it was an event that wounded my heart and made me feel very sad.

For a while it cast a cloud over my days.

I got my first heckler.

As I sat watching my kids playing in the yard, someone tossed a stream of jabbing text messages right into my lap.

The worst blows were hurled privately, but looking back I realized that my heckler's critical spirit had been present online for a quite a while -- even dating back to at comment she made on the blog I had before Classical Quest. Her periodic terse questions and general shortness was really steam from her rising disapproval of me. She was bound to eventually boil over. With hindsight I could see this clearly.

Being heckled knocked the breath out of me. It struck me deeply because it came -- not from a stranger -- but from a person whom I had long held in high esteem, a person I had tried to confide my struggles to.

I went "dark" for a few days to pray and sift through the criticism I had received. This experience became a turning point for my blog.

There were tears.

I don't believe I should forgo telling you about this part of my journey, but I will be discreet out of respect for my heckler, whom I still love. Dear readers, you need to know that if you choose to embark on a quest -- to live your life with intention -- you are bound to face opposition. Most likely your most unfair critic will emerge from those who think they know you well.

Through blogging I've revealed some of my goals and dreams. I've made myself vulnerable. I've taken a risk. This person, my heckler, was disgusted with what she saw when I cracked open the door and allowed her to peer in. She took it upon herself to scold me, not lovingly, but as a bully.

And friends, it's likely that some of your acquaintances will be disgusted with what they discover about you if you choose to bare your soul. We all live in a delusion about each other. We're excessively fond of perceiving others through the filtered lens of our own ideals. My heckler is not alone in this. I am often guilty of doing this to others too.

I emerged from my time offline with sober determination and a renewed vision. I realized that one of the things that my heckler said was true -- Classical Quest should be an extension of my whole self! I had been writing a lot about the product of my labor and very little about the process of laboring. I was making things seem effortless, when in reality a good bit of tears and sleepless nights were going into getting this quest off the ground.

I don't think my heckler meant to inspire me with a great idea which would boost my following! I think she would have been content to see me shut down. But after some soul searching I understood that if I stopped pursuing my quest I would be pushing God's hand away. I wasn't doing a bad thing. I was doing something I was made to do, something my family is proud of.

In this way my heckler became my helper.

Now, I won't go so far to say that no one in my family has ever been frustrated with me! Nor will I pretend that I have never dropped any balls because of getting up extra early to read and write! But yes, my family is proud of me. They show me this daily. My quest enriches all our lives.

A drawing my daughter made for me.

Two great things happened at the end of August:

Anne Bogel, a.k.a. The Modern Mrs. Darcy, recommend I read Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art, by Madeline L'Engle. ( I'm still reading it in small portions and soaking it up.)

Through the magic of Facebook I reconnected with my darling friend, Krista Bjorn, whom I haven't seen since I was in Moscow, Russia in 1994! Krista is a writer who lives on a beautiful farm in Australia. She has a lovely blog called Rambling Tart. She reentered my life like a beacon  at just the perfect time.

Krista's advice for me (which I took to heart):

" ...just be a beacon. It will draw some and repel others and both are OK.  Those who leave free us up to THRIVE with the kindred spirits who come along."

At the Kremlin in 1994 with friends I'm still in contact with today. I'm in the middle. Krista Bjorn is on the right near the grass.

Thank you for taking the time to read my reminiscences today. I would offer you a cyber cupcake but since it's already been licked, I'm sure you'd politely decline. Take care, friends. Please join me tomorrow for the final post of "Happy Birthday, Dear Bloggy!"