On My Own, but Not Alone

Dear Friends,

My pastor recommended that I start blogging again, so here I am.
Since my last post, life has taken a dramatic turn. I'm going through a dissolution of marriage after fifteen years. Fortunately, my children's father and I are currently on good terms and co-parenting is going really well. I won't be scrubbing references to him from my social media accounts.

I'm now living at my parents' farm with the children. I'll spare you the details of the last few exhausting months and just say that I think I've reached the final stage of grief: acceptance.

Mom and Dad have 18 bee colonies and no microwave. They have a rotary telephone and no wifi. Life has come full circle for me. I'm back in my old dormer bedroom in a twin sized bed I'm sharing with my five year old daughter. At night I like to open the window and and we listen to spring peepers and rain or whatever's going on in the country in the dark. We cuddle like two birds in a nest. I'm blessed to have all my children near me in a situation that is safe and familiar to us.

I've set up a portable library in my room with wooden crates. Reading is more than a pleasurable pastime right now: it's a life raft for my mind and spirit. Recently I've been tweeting some of my favorite lines from the book I'm reading: The Autobiography of Andrew Carnegie. It's a great book for anyone attempting a fresh start. I've been deeply challenged by Carnegie's optimism and determination.

The children and I are adjusting well to our new community. They love school and I love volunteering there from time to time. Church has become a genuine sanctuary for my weary heart. A few weeks ago I began serving as a liturgist. The congregants were so loving and supportive of my effort, that I found the courage to do it again. I love how connected and generous they are to those in need. I'm learning from their example how to live out my faith in a more authentic way.

Until next time, then.

Adriana

Radical Decluttering and a Move!

Dear Friends,

Last month we moved from our home in the country to a place in town. We're living with our good friends, Kevin and Tuyet, and their two small children until we find a house.

Once we decided to move, we did most of the work in ten days. Though we had rented our house for several years, we had always treated it as though it belonged to us. Our family of seven had put down some serious roots. The basement had become stacked with so much stuff that I felt paralyzed by the thousands of micro-decisions I had to make to get us out of there! But my husband is a wonder; he pulled a horse trailer, a dumpster, and a semi-trailer right up to the back patio and worked tirelessly to help me load things while also running his business and helping our oldest two kids prepare to show their horses at the county fair.

Friends and family came in to assist us as well. My father-in-law asked me why I had to play the piano. Couldn't I have chosen a lighter instrument? Since I joined the family fifteen years ago, he's helped to move it four times!

Now that the dust has settled, I'm staying in a guest bedroom with our four year old daughter. Our tween daughter is in her own room across the hall. My husband and our three sons are in a basement apartment.

Tuyet and I have merged pantries and created a lovely flow of cooperation for all our daily tasks. We cherish our time together! Meals are so much easier to assemble when you can plan and prepare them with a friend. Time folding laundry flies by when you're talking and laughing. If Tuyet needs to sleep in, I can handle breakfast for all the children (and vice versa).

In my room I've created the kind of French style closet I've always wanted with a limited number of carefully chosen high-use pieces. I also have a small pine dresser for essentials. I have two crates of books, one on each side of my bed -- I only packed what I expect to read in the next few months.
I feel much more productive and focused without all the clutter I had before!

The view from my window is park-like. I see two lotus blooms in Tuyet's koi pond. I see a swing that is covered in mature wisteria. A wall of manicured evergreens are paired with purple Rose of Sharon to provide privacy on one side since the neighbor's yard is quite close.

My room is painted clean ivory. There are new aquamarine sheets on the bed. On my dresser I've placed a framed photograph of two pink lilies that my old piano teacher, Sister Cecilia, gave me years ago.  My little girl has two crates to keep her things sorted. Her white porcelain bunny peeps between some potted plants by the window.

I look forward to having a house of my own again; but for now, I'm very happy.

What I'm reading: 

A Child's History of the World by Virgil M. Hillyer. I found it in a box of used books back when we were homeschooling and I'm just now getting around to it. An easy, delightful read. I'll likely read it aloud to my kids in the future.

From where we are now, let us look down the flights below us and listen to the story of what has happened in the long years gone by.  

Virgil M Hillyer


What I'm listening to:

Greetings's From Utopia Park: Surviving a Transcendent Childhood by Claire Hoffman

This book is endlessly amusing to me. I had an aunt who practiced transcendental meditation when I was a child. Because of this, my strick fundamentalist/baptist parents wouldn't let me spend the night at her house when I was young. It turns out that Utopia Park was not a whole lot different than the homeschool cult I grew up in!

It feels good to be blogging again. Hope I can keep things rolling this time.

Blessings,

Adriana