Temporary Hearing Loss

Dear Friend,

In my last post I mentioned I couldn't hear very well out of my left ear. It turns out I have strange aggressive infection that has caused (hopefully) temporary hearing loss. I went to a specialist for treatment yesterday. He filled my ear with medicine and plugged it with a cotton ball. Now I can hear less than before! But the doctor seems optimistic that I will be much better in about a week. I'm wearing a knitted hat to keep the cotton ball intact.

Before I went to the specialist yesterday, I visited my daughter's school to see her perform in a "wax museum" as the deaf/ blind author, Helen Keller. Each kid in her class dressed as a person from history and wore a bright green sticker-button on his or her shoulder. When a guest tapped a character's button, the character came to life and quoted a speech. Even though my ear was throbbing and I could barely make out what the students were saying, I enjoyed seeing the culmination of their hard work.

I suppose it's significant, considering my recent experience with hearing loss, that my daughter has been so interested in deafness lately. She's been practicing some signs in order to communicate with a boy in her class who is deaf. I'm trying not to panic about the silence, but instead to view this time of healing as a silent retreat. I told you about how much I benefited spiritually from the retreat I took last year. I'm planning to attend another one in May. If you missed those posts, you can read them here.

One other thing I should mention: my computer has crashed! It's in the shop now. My husband's schedule is constantly in flux due to his business, so I'm never really sure when I'll have access to his laptop. If you don't hear from me in the next few days, please know that I appreciate any kind thoughts and prayers you can offer! My mom is keeping my two youngest children for a couple days so I can rest and try to rally my immune system.


Blessings!
Love,

Adriana

Quest Notes: Blizzard Edition

Dear Friend,

Remember that break I took from blogging back in November?

It was a mistake.

Maybe a two week break would have been OK, but I chose two months. Now I'm struggling to get back into a rhythm. When a writer lets herself go, her brain gets flabby rather quickly. What should take 20 minutes, now takes an hour or more!

Maybe I just have cabin fever. It's been a long winter of blizzards and viruses. Currently my voice is croaky and I can't hear well out of my left ear. We haven't been to church in two weeks because of illness in our house.

Although I didn't write much during my hiatus, I did read some good stuff like The Power of Habit by Charles, Duhigg. If you're struggling with changing habits, this book is a good place to start. I'm interested in how we develop habits and how our habits define us.

I quietly finished Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte late in the fall. It seems to be everyone's favorite classic. I enjoyed it, but maybe since I was already familiar with the plot from movies, it didn't stir me like it may have if it was a fresh experience. I hesitate to analyze something so well known and loved; so for now, let me point you in the direction of the rock star guest post that featured Jane Eyre on my blog (by Karen Swallow Prior, author of Booked: Literature in the Soul of Me.)

A while ago I took a Myers-Briggs Personality Indicator (MBTI) test and discovered that I'm an INFP -- "The Healer." I think Jane Eyre might have been an INFP too. There are a few different opinions about her personality around the web. Are you familiar with MBTI? Have you read Jane Eyre? If so, how would peg Jane?

I've also read these books this winter:

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain, The Red Badge of Courage by Stephan Crane, and Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad.

Thanks for sticking with me, dear readers. Spring is right around the corner -- We'll arrive at a place of wellness and warm air soon!


Love,
Adriana

I Am Your Keeper and You are Mine: A Stroll in Springtime

I have some more old pictures for you today! I'm still recovering from an illness that has kept me in bed for three days. My strength is starting to return, but I'm taking baby steps. When I haven't been dozing, I've been spending time in my rocker on my front porch in my pajamas and wrapped in a sheet. My husband has taken the week off work to be my nurse and to care for the kids. My mom brought over a chicken dinner last night. After sleeping nearly all day, I found Mother's comfort food to be very comforting indeed!

As I think I said yesterday, looking through my photos feels therapeutic. I can't believe how many pictures I have meant to share with you that I haven't yet got around to sharing! These are some I took on a Spring Sunday back in April when I took my baby for a stroll after church.

I keep hoping that one day I will have time to blog the way I want to: lots of pictures and insights into the classics and useful tips for successful living. But the truth is, though life is a beautiful gift, sometimes it is very hard. Sometimes it takes all I have to just give my family the basics for their survival with a smile on my face. Sometimes the edge is gone and I have no energy left to be creative. I have nothing clever to say and I feel like I need to just lap up wisdom from everyone else!

Sometimes I just need to sit still and watch a bee pollinate a flower and feel the breeze on my face and listen to a mourning dove. 

I  wish people wouldn't say, "I don't want to be a burden on anyone." (Even though I admit I have sometimes said this myself -- I don't want to cause anyone any trouble.) Guess what? Being a burden is part of life so get over it! And praise God the whole world isn't full of evil Nazis. Sometimes your friends and family need you to be a "burden" so they can be whole. Caring for others is not a curse! Caring for others is a blessing!

But I think most people are just trying to be considerate when they say "I don't want to be a burden." We all know negative draining types that will just suck out all of a person's energy and demand more, more, more! But I'm sure you are not like that. If you have a need, call out for help! And receive gifts of love with a grateful heart. I know you will carry the goodness forward and many others will be blessed by your life in time.

I'm very grateful for the friends and family who have stepped up to care for me in the last few days. I hope you have someone to care for you when you are ill or depressed. It is awful to be hurting and to be alone -- especially if you have dependents who require your constant care! I hope you don't struggle with pride like I do. Are you too proud to ask for help? Too proud ask others to share your burdens?

I am your keeper and you are mine. I need your prayers and encouraging words and sometimes I need you tell me when I'm wrong! (Kindly please, but yes -- do tell me.) And I am responsible for each person who comes across my path -- whether in the blogosphere or in offline relationships. I am responsible for everything I teach, say, and show. I must ask myself:

Am I being loving or spiteful? 

Are my motives toward this person pure or selfish? 

When I say "I'll pray for you." Do I actually stop to pray for more than a second?

 Am I building others up or tearing them down?

I think I'll stop here. Maybe soon we can talk about what this looks like in our online relationships.

For now I'm going to take a shower, then rest a bit until Mom gets here. Tonight she's bringing a roast.

Love and blessings!

Adriana