On My Own, but Not Alone

Dear Friends,

My pastor recommended that I start blogging again, so here I am.
Since my last post, life has taken a dramatic turn. I'm going through a dissolution of marriage after fifteen years. Fortunately, my children's father and I are currently on good terms and co-parenting is going really well. I won't be scrubbing references to him from my social media accounts.

I'm now living at my parents' farm with the children. I'll spare you the details of the last few exhausting months and just say that I think I've reached the final stage of grief: acceptance.

Mom and Dad have 18 bee colonies and no microwave. They have a rotary telephone and no wifi. Life has come full circle for me. I'm back in my old dormer bedroom in a twin sized bed I'm sharing with my five year old daughter. At night I like to open the window and and we listen to spring peepers and rain or whatever's going on in the country in the dark. We cuddle like two birds in a nest. I'm blessed to have all my children near me in a situation that is safe and familiar to us.

I've set up a portable library in my room with wooden crates. Reading is more than a pleasurable pastime right now: it's a life raft for my mind and spirit. Recently I've been tweeting some of my favorite lines from the book I'm reading: The Autobiography of Andrew Carnegie. It's a great book for anyone attempting a fresh start. I've been deeply challenged by Carnegie's optimism and determination.

The children and I are adjusting well to our new community. They love school and I love volunteering there from time to time. Church has become a genuine sanctuary for my weary heart. A few weeks ago I began serving as a liturgist. The congregants were so loving and supportive of my effort, that I found the courage to do it again. I love how connected and generous they are to those in need. I'm learning from their example how to live out my faith in a more authentic way.

Until next time, then.

Adriana

The Book That Changed My Life

Some time ago I received a phone call from the librarian at my local public library. She called to tell me that she had been looking over records and found that since the card catalog had been computerized about twenty years ago, I had checked out more books than any other person in my county. 

I was surprised by this news and also perplexed. All these years I have been seeking for something, but what? And why, after pouring through many stacks of lofty titles, did I still feel ignorant? 

I realized that it was time to submit myself to a list of recommended reading.

Lately, I have noticed a lot of literary bloggers referring to the moment when they "turned to the classics." It sounds like such a life changing, momentous event. And it is.

What I'll be reading for the next several months.

                                                                

Classics are books which, the more we think we know them by hearsay, the more original, unexpected, and innovative we find them when we actually read them. -- Italo Calvino

How has The Well-Educated Mind changed me?

The first time I read The Well-Educated Mind, I was living in a basement apartment with my husband and two small children. I had dropped out of college to get married and I was starting to feel intellectual withdrawal. In her book, I discovered Susan Wise Bauer's advice for reading through five different types of literature: fiction, autobiography, history and politics, drama, and poetry. She explains how to read each type by following the tried and true method of the classical trivium. She quotes Sir Francis Bacon: "Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested." --

[Bacon] was suggesting that not every book is worthy of serious attention. But the three levels of understanding he describes -- tasting, swallowing, and digesting -- reflect his familiarity with classical education. In the classical school, learning is a three-part process. First, taste: Gain basic knowledge of your subject. Second, swallow: Take the knowledge into your own understanding by evaluating it. Is it valid? Is it true? Why? Third, digest: Fold the subject into your own understanding. Let it change the way you think-- or reject is as unworthy.

Reading Susan Wise Bauer's words, I felt as though an older, wiser friend had come along beside me, offering to be my guidance counselor. I began to shape a plan for a dream that could be accomplished over my lifetime. 

Now that I have five children, allotting time for my classical education often feels daunting -- some days I don't get to it at all -- but I'm inching forward and the reward is always worth the effort.

I started out alone on my quest. I had never heard of a "blog" and I knew no one personally who was interested in working through the lists with me. A big part of the process in a classical education is conversing with a rhetoric partner, but I didn't find mine until recently. After I started Classical Quest, I did a Google search and discovered a A Classic Case of Madness, a blog authored by three mothers who are also working their way through the WEM lists. I had started with the autobiography list; they were going through the novel list. Switching lists midstream was not a decision I made lightly (the lists are arranged chronologically). But now that I've worked through two novels alongside them, I realize that I made the right choice. They put up new posts from our reading nearly every day and some mornings I start my day laughing myself to tears over what they have written.


The Great Books have been likened to "intellectual NordicTrack machines", helpful for preventing atrophy of the mind. This is a good analogy, but my favorite imagery is food --

I have noticed that readers of the classics always seem to have in common a love for sumptuous food. Perhaps science will one day prove that a refined palette and a love for classic literature are genetically intertwined; regardless, the analogy of food is a good way to describe what reading a classic work does for me -- It feeds me. Entering into "The Great Conversation", I have found I'm not eating alone. I am joining into a shared experience with countless others through the ages.

Some of what I have experienced:
Augustine’s Confessions, which contains some of my all-time favorite quotes, provided a buffet for my soul during a trying time. I have laughed out loud to the tongue-in-cheek humor in Moby-Dick which others have laughed at for 150 years.  I have developed a love/hate relationship with Michel de Montaigne after reading his Essays a few months ago -- yet, more and more, I find myself referring back to his tips for living a good life. I have silently wept over Uncle Tom's Cabin and thought: This is why this book started a war. And now I know by experiencing these books for myself, not just by being told about them second hand.

Books I've read since I started working through the WEM lists.

If you are interested in reading through the Great Books on the WEM lists, I would love to hear from you! I am in the process of compiling a "Well-Educated Mind Blog Directory", which I know will be a means of support and encouragement for those on this quest. 


You are also welcome to join me in reading any particular book on the list.  Please leave a comment to let me know!

To view the complete WEM list go HERE.

Create Your Own Life Story

Today I am pondering Moby-Dick in light of a new memoir I read this past weekend: A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, by Donald Miller. It challenged me to view my life as a story -- one in which I am a co-author.

Author Donald Miller found himself in what, Ishmael would have called "a drizzly November in [the] soul." Through the aid of two movie producers, he began to"edit his life into a better story."

Through the passing of a beloved uncle, Miller realized that at the close of life "If you [haven't told] a good story, nobody thinks you died too soon; they just think you died." He began to wonder if a person could plan a story for his life and live it intentionally.

Ishmael contemplated this too. In chapter 47 of Moby-Dick, he and Queequeg were weaving a sword mat. Ishmael used his hand for the shuttle and Queequeg slid his oaken sword between the threads.

...it seemed  as if this were the Loom of Time, and I myself were a shuttle mechanically weaving and weaving away at the Fates... this warp seemed necessity; and here, thought I, with my own hand I ply my own shuttle and weave my own destiny into these unalterable threads.

 Miller:

If I have a hope, it's that God sat over the dark nothing and wrote you and me, specifically, into the Story, and put us in with the sunset and the rainstorm as though to say, 'Enjoy your place in my Story. The beauty of it means you matter, and you can create within it even as I have created you.

So what's the basic structure of a good story? "A character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it." That's it. 

What does it all come down to? Relationships. "Most of our greatest fears are relational. It's all that stuff about forgiveness and risking rejection and learning to love. We think stories are about getting money and security, but the truth is, it all comes down to relationships."

What's the point? "If the point of life is the same as the point of a story, the point of life is character transformation."  One of the important questions I must answer at the end of each novel on the WEM list is

"How did the protagonist change?"

"The point of a story is never about the ending... It's about your character getting molded in the hard work of the middle."

Miller wondered if:

...we were designed to live through something rather than to attain something, and the thing we were meant to live through was designed to change us. 

With a Little Help From My Friends

I've been trying to work my way through The Well-Educated Mind by myself for way too long.

Not long ago, I discovered  A Classic Case Of Madness -- a witty, thoughtful blog in which three ladies contribute. They are on the same quest, just in a different spot: I started with the auto-biography list; they started with the novel list. I am finishing up Montaigne's Essays; they just finished Jane Eyre. I've decided to switch to the novel list and continue this journey with a little help from my new blog-friends, Christine, Christina and Jeanette.

Ever since Christina left a message on my blog inviting me to jump into the novels with them, I have been turning the idea over in my mind. I honestly can't think of a reason why I shouldn't join them. On the contrary, I can think of a few reasons why I should:

1. Group discussion will aid my comprehension.

2. I will move more quickly with others to keep me accountable.

3. Accountability will help me follow the three step system which is carefully described in WEM.

4. It will be a lot more fun!

What will this mean for Classical Quest?
~More blog posts about my progress with The Well-Educated Mind reading lists.
~Less posts about other reading.

Consider joining us!  You are welcome to join us for a read-along anytime. To find out what we are reading next, visit my "Up Next" page. For the full list go HERE.

The First Day of the Rest of My Life

“Do you know what today is?” I asked my husband.

He turned to me, startled.  I knew what he was thinking: what did I forget? 

I assured him with a pat on the hand,

“It’s the first day of the rest of my life.”

“Oh, that’s nice, Babe.”

“No really, it is!”

Since I was a young girl, I dreamed of getting married and having a large family. I gave birth to my fifth child six weeks ago. Yesterday I had my postpartum visit with my doctor. She gave me the green light to return to normal function.

So it feels like dawning of a new era. The course of my life in no longer a vague misty dream. All around me are the precious faces of my present and my future: my handsome husband and my five gorgeous kids.

I took a brisk walk to celebrate and to “think my little thoughts through.” ( My aunt taught me this phrase when I was young. She said "Honey sometimes you just need to find a place to think your little thoughts through." It's true -- my thoughts are little in the grand scheme of things and I do need a place to think them through sometimes.)

Two of my boys came along with me. My oldest son held my little one's hand so I could walk ahead a bit and try to get my heart rate up. I feel so much lighter than six weeks ago! I skipped and twirled  --  which made my boys smile. My oldest has seen me lying prostrate a lot this past year. It's been too long since we've taken our daily walks together. I attempted to click my heels. The boys laughed.

So, for what did I ponder and pray on "the first day"? 

Gratefulness for the past and a vision for the future.

It's time to add some new dreams to my heart. It's time to take new steps and risk new things. Life is full of uncertainties and some things we just can't predict, but for me two things are very clear: I will be spending the next phase of my life raising my little brood and honing my craft as a writer.

I'm grateful you've stopped by Classical Quest. I'd love to know --

What are your goals for the next ten years?