Sunday, December 16, 2012

Finding Courage to Send My Kids Back to School

My son, who just turned six.
About the time I was finishing up my "Classics and the Bible Sundays" post on Friday, the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary occurred. The post is saved and I'll most likely put it up next Sunday.

But this morning, my mind is plagued with two pressing questions:

How am I going to find the composure to talk to my older kids about what happened?

How am I going to find the courage to put them on the school bus tomorrow morning?

Our family is relatively new to public school. About this time last year -- just before my fifth baby was born, we stopped homeschooling. I believe I can still clearly recall how I would have reacted to this event when I was a homeschooler: stunned and deeply saddened, but also, relieved that my kids were home with me and "safe".

But God is not calling me to a false sense of security; He is calling me to trust Him. Through this tragedy, I am now entering into a profound sense of empathy with other parents all over this nation.

We don't know what tomorrow holds.

Even still, we must reach forward with hope.

The following is a statement from Jimmy Greene, whose daughter, Ana Marquez-Greene,  was slain at Sandy Hook Elementary on Friday:

As we work through this nightmare, we’re reminded how much we’re loved and supported on this earth and by our Father in heaven. As much as she’s needed here and missed by her mother, brother and me, Ana beat us all to paradise. I love you sweetie girl.

Tomorrow morning I will hug my kids as I always do. I will say what I always say --

Go with God, children.

When the bus pulls up I will take my heart and place it on that big yellow bus. My children and I will wave to each other until we disappear from each other's sight.

And the only way I am going to be able to do it is through the love and support of my Father in heaven. Thank you, Jimmy Greene, for reminding me of this.

(Please take the time to click on his name and read the "Message" page, which was part of his professional website before this tragic event occurred.)

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."—         Philippians 4:13


Green family
The Greene Family. Ana is on the right. (via)

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

Much love to all,

Adriana


9 comments:

  1. Beautiful :*) I can't begin to wrap my mind around any of what happened. My heart aches.

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    1. It's been hard to act normal for my kids this weekend. I've just felt like curling up in a ball and crying my eyes out.

      Lots and lots of prayer...

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  2. Mr. Greene's statement and testimony are encouraging to those of us on the outside trying to form an understanding of all of this. I am grateful that you shared these.

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    1. I hope you can see my heart on this Ruth! Being in this unique position has humbled me, but I still consider homeschooling a beautiful choice!

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    2. I do understand. But I feel like we are vulnerable anywhere we go or anywhere we send our children.

      My mother called me that morning and told me she was so glad that I homeschooled, but I told her that evil can happen anywhere. I once went shopping at my local Target w/ my two oldest when they were little, and two criminals chased by cops entered the store; one was shot dead. I had to escape through a backdoor w/ my children under my arms. It was a nightmare that I had had before, and still think about no matter where I go.

      This can happen anywhere. We always have to be vigilant. And we have to teach our children to be the same.

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  3. It sounds like you are handling this with your children as best as a wonderful loving parent can, Adriana. And you are also handling it for us as a wonderful loving blogger, because your thoughts and sharing Mr. Greene's comments have touched my heart too.

    Tim

    P.S. I wrote a bit on the carrying firearms issue today.

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    1. Almost forgot to say that your son is adorable on that school bus with his fingers up in the window!

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Blessings,

Adriana